I drive Jesse to work every morning. We have two cars, but it's nice to be able to spend the 10 minute drive to work with him. Sometimes we talk, sometimes we're quiet; normally we have the radio on to AirOne or some random country station, but this morning it was turned way down and we rode pretty quietly. However, after I dropped him off I decided I wanted to listen to some music. Before I'm really awake for the day, radio dj's tend to annoy me. They're so perky and chipper, just play your music and stop talking. But this morning, something caught my attention that they were talking about.
A pastor was talking about a challenge he presented to his church: pick a goal, something you want to change or do in your life, sum it up with one word and find a Bible verse to back it up. For example, the pastor picked the word "finish" and used James 1:4 to back it up-- "Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."
It got me thinking..with all that has been on my mind, what would I pick as my one word? I decided on "trust" for at least right now. I think God has been showing me not only patience, but how to learn to trust in Him and His timing for things..when I take matters into my own hands, they will fall apart. I need to learn to trust God- to let go and let Him work.
The verse I picked is one of my favourites: Isaiah 40:31-- "But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint." (NLT)
Regardless of what you're going through, whether it's something incredibly difficult or just marginally annoying, placing your trust in God is the right first step that is occasionally difficult to take. He will provide you the strength and willpower to go on.
We'll see how using this verse as my motto goes. Trusting can be hard, but it will be worth it.
21 January 2010
13 January 2010
untitled.
God's timing is perfect. There is no other or better way to make that statement because it is 100% true and fool-proof. Even though we, the human race, seem to think that we know and understand what's going on, we don't have a clue half the time. Over and over in my life I have seen first hand that my opening sentence is true. If only I could remember it all the time and not try and make things happen on my own.
Waiting on God and trusting Him to do what is in His will in His time is hard, but no one ever really said it would be easy, just that it would be worth it. In the past few years, those closest to me have probably heard me say a countless number of times one or all of the following: that's not fair, when will I have my turn?, how come their life/lives seem so easy? However, looking back, I have become a better and stronger person for not taking, in my opinion, was the easy road. Whenever everything seemed to be going just perfect for a friend or acquaintance, it just didn't seem fair. When would my road level out and be easier to walk? Why does it feel like I'm running uphill over boulders?
The truth and answer is simple: God was teaching me something. And since I am a slow learner and need to have the information presented to me multiple times apparently, only after the fact could I see this. How annoying.
God's perfect plan and His perfect timing will make sense when He decides it will make sense. Everything is going to come together for me, in my opinion, when He knows the time is right. Right now, I'm learning patience. I guess I should say "still" since it seems to be a never-ending battle for me. I need to be patient and wait for His timing and not try and force my own agenda on my life. Instead of being jealous or upset about all the "things" that others are getting and where they seem to be going in their life, I need to be thankful for the things I have, wish them luck or congratulate them and pray for the opportunities to present themselves when God decides. Clearly not an easy thing to do.
Waiting on God and trusting Him to do what is in His will in His time is hard, but no one ever really said it would be easy, just that it would be worth it. In the past few years, those closest to me have probably heard me say a countless number of times one or all of the following: that's not fair, when will I have my turn?, how come their life/lives seem so easy? However, looking back, I have become a better and stronger person for not taking, in my opinion, was the easy road. Whenever everything seemed to be going just perfect for a friend or acquaintance, it just didn't seem fair. When would my road level out and be easier to walk? Why does it feel like I'm running uphill over boulders?
The truth and answer is simple: God was teaching me something. And since I am a slow learner and need to have the information presented to me multiple times apparently, only after the fact could I see this. How annoying.
God's perfect plan and His perfect timing will make sense when He decides it will make sense. Everything is going to come together for me, in my opinion, when He knows the time is right. Right now, I'm learning patience. I guess I should say "still" since it seems to be a never-ending battle for me. I need to be patient and wait for His timing and not try and force my own agenda on my life. Instead of being jealous or upset about all the "things" that others are getting and where they seem to be going in their life, I need to be thankful for the things I have, wish them luck or congratulate them and pray for the opportunities to present themselves when God decides. Clearly not an easy thing to do.
07 January 2010
growing up is lame.
I mean really. It is. Remember when you were a kid and the biggest decision you had to make was whether you wanted pb & j or mac 'n' cheese (hypothetically because I didn't like mac 'n' cheese growing up). Or maybe even something a little tougher: do I want to play "Sorry" or "Guess Who?" Now what kind of big decisions do you have to make? Chances are, if you're in college, have graduated from college or are above the age of 18 at all you have made some sort of life-altering decision, whether you realize it or not. Which college do I want to go to, what do I want to do with the rest of my life, etc. And unfortunately, the decisions and life experiences just keep getting hammered down your throat. Let's be honest, when I was thrown out into the "real world" I didn't have a clue what to do or how to handle myself. Jesse had to basically hold my hand and show me how to surrive until one day he said "it's ok, just ask questions, you'll figure it out" and sent me to talk to the insurance people all by myself. Yikes. And today, I ordered us some new checks. Small and irrelevant to big life plans? Yes. But I did it, all by myself. And as Jesse would half teasing/half seriously say, "aw you're such a big girl, Amber. I'm so proud you put on the big girl pants today." Such a sweet guy..
I guess the reason I'm thinking about this is because I feel at a sort of cross-roads in my life. I know, I'm only 22, it's definitely no mid-life crisis. But it's true, that's where I feel I am. I graduated from college in September and then began packing my life in boxes to move. Finding a career wasn't high on the list of things to do at the time: taking care of a husband, dog and unpacking took priority. Now the house is unpacked, the dog is asleep, and I have nothing to do but blog and drink coffee. Ok, I do other things too, but the point is, where do I go from here?
The cross-roads I'm talking about have to do with big life decisions that I can't make alone. That's part of the joy of being married, you get to make the big decisions in life with a buddy. From here, do I pursue some sort of career? The logical answer? Yes. The benefits are all over the place in bright neon signs: all the $$ I make can right on the down payment for a house or to pay off student loans. But is that really what I want to do?
Ugh.
Having responsibilities and adult-things to worry about and take care of will get easier, or so I hear. I guess I'll have to wait and see...fortunately for me I have a great guy by my side, a fabulous family and friend support system and a God who cares and listens to me when I rant and rave about "my" life plans..you know. The ones He already has figured out for me and will show me in His time. For the record, and possibly a later post, I do believe that He is teaching my patience...hoo.ray.
I guess the reason I'm thinking about this is because I feel at a sort of cross-roads in my life. I know, I'm only 22, it's definitely no mid-life crisis. But it's true, that's where I feel I am. I graduated from college in September and then began packing my life in boxes to move. Finding a career wasn't high on the list of things to do at the time: taking care of a husband, dog and unpacking took priority. Now the house is unpacked, the dog is asleep, and I have nothing to do but blog and drink coffee. Ok, I do other things too, but the point is, where do I go from here?
The cross-roads I'm talking about have to do with big life decisions that I can't make alone. That's part of the joy of being married, you get to make the big decisions in life with a buddy. From here, do I pursue some sort of career? The logical answer? Yes. The benefits are all over the place in bright neon signs: all the $$ I make can right on the down payment for a house or to pay off student loans. But is that really what I want to do?
Ugh.
Having responsibilities and adult-things to worry about and take care of will get easier, or so I hear. I guess I'll have to wait and see...fortunately for me I have a great guy by my side, a fabulous family and friend support system and a God who cares and listens to me when I rant and rave about "my" life plans..you know. The ones He already has figured out for me and will show me in His time. For the record, and possibly a later post, I do believe that He is teaching my patience...hoo.ray.
06 January 2010
new year full of new things..
Well. We are officially 6 days into the new year-- 2010 is here. Everyone around the world welcomed the new year, the new decade, in through some means. I know several people who said "adios" to 2009 and went to bed by 10p, whereas I welcomed the New Year with lots of yelling, some sparkly for kicks and toasting, surrounded by family.
Bringing in a round of 365 days has a way of making people reflect on their past year of existence. Not only is it a time of reflection on the past, but a time to reflect upon future desires, wishes and goals that one has for his or her life; a time for resolutions for many. The challenge lays before everyone as the clock hits midnight around the world: what will I resolve to do for the next 365 days? Many boldly declare to lose weight or join a gym. In fact, you can go check out your local gym now and chances are, it's packed. Give it 3 months, the parking lot will be back to normal.
What is it about resolving to make a change that is so hard, especially when it's for the better? You see the end goal-- your clothes fitting better, being in better shape and health-- but somehow, you don't want to get out of your sweatpants and leave your easy chair for the healthier lifestyle.
Change isn't easy. Leaving old ways behind or taking on something is hard. I know I talk about it a lot, but moving across the country and uprooting from one lifestyle to a new one isn't easy. That sort of change takes some getting used to and a couple of stubborn people to try and make it work. However, when you finally get to where your going..when you've finally learned that little lesson you set out to learn..you're a better person.
This year, resolve to do better. Take the challenges you are faced with head on, knowing that you will learn and grow from your experiences. I don't know what this year holds for me, but I'm excited to find out.
Bringing in a round of 365 days has a way of making people reflect on their past year of existence. Not only is it a time of reflection on the past, but a time to reflect upon future desires, wishes and goals that one has for his or her life; a time for resolutions for many. The challenge lays before everyone as the clock hits midnight around the world: what will I resolve to do for the next 365 days? Many boldly declare to lose weight or join a gym. In fact, you can go check out your local gym now and chances are, it's packed. Give it 3 months, the parking lot will be back to normal.
What is it about resolving to make a change that is so hard, especially when it's for the better? You see the end goal-- your clothes fitting better, being in better shape and health-- but somehow, you don't want to get out of your sweatpants and leave your easy chair for the healthier lifestyle.
Change isn't easy. Leaving old ways behind or taking on something is hard. I know I talk about it a lot, but moving across the country and uprooting from one lifestyle to a new one isn't easy. That sort of change takes some getting used to and a couple of stubborn people to try and make it work. However, when you finally get to where your going..when you've finally learned that little lesson you set out to learn..you're a better person.
This year, resolve to do better. Take the challenges you are faced with head on, knowing that you will learn and grow from your experiences. I don't know what this year holds for me, but I'm excited to find out.
10 November 2009
ugh. junk.
Moving has a funny way of making one realize how incredibly blessed/spoiled one's life is. I mean, Jesse and I had to pack up all our earthly possessions to get from AZ to WV and it took the work of two trucks and a huge trailer. Why so much junk? Yes, to make our lives "comfortable" but there are so, SO many people in the world who are completely content if not happier with so much less then we have!
Unpacking the boxes gives you time to examine the contents of your life closely. With each item that is removed from the carefully, or not so carefully, packed box, one can determine it's importance. "Do I need to find a place for this in the new home, or can I leave it boxed up and in storage somewhere for later?"
The unfortunate reality is, Jesse and I have too much stuff! What needs to happen is we need to go through all of our junk that was not deemed "needed at the present time" and just give it away! Have I done this? Of course not. I've thrown away a lot of stuff we don't need, but the still useable stuff- items that others could make use of?- still neatly packed. What is it about the human race that makes us hoarders? Jesse is not a pack-rat by any means, yet we still have just soooo much stuff! It's ridiculous!
Why? What is it about Americans, in general, that want to keep useless possessions and acquire more?
Unpacking the boxes gives you time to examine the contents of your life closely. With each item that is removed from the carefully, or not so carefully, packed box, one can determine it's importance. "Do I need to find a place for this in the new home, or can I leave it boxed up and in storage somewhere for later?"
The unfortunate reality is, Jesse and I have too much stuff! What needs to happen is we need to go through all of our junk that was not deemed "needed at the present time" and just give it away! Have I done this? Of course not. I've thrown away a lot of stuff we don't need, but the still useable stuff- items that others could make use of?- still neatly packed. What is it about the human race that makes us hoarders? Jesse is not a pack-rat by any means, yet we still have just soooo much stuff! It's ridiculous!
Why? What is it about Americans, in general, that want to keep useless possessions and acquire more?
22 October 2009
random thoughts with no conclusion.
Jealousy is gross. To be jealous of others- to want what they have- is wrong. There is nothing flattering about jealousy, and can lead to disastrous consequences. However, it's a fact of life in this sinful world we live in. What do you do with it? Many people have found peace and happiness in the things they have been given and what they have in their lives; others go through life always wanting more, always looking at others things and wanting it for themselves. In essence, comparing themselves to the "Jones.'" What do you do when you find yourself jealous of someone? Of possessions they have or a life they lead that is not your own? How do you handle it?
The best option, of course, is to view your life and be thankful for what you do have. Recently, I have been faced with a situation where I am jealous of others: the direction of their life, how comfortable they appear in their world and how everything just seems to 'fall into place' for them.
While on the million-mile drive across the country with Jesse and his parents, the mother-in-law and I got to talking about this topic. She shared how throughout her marriage, she always felt other people had "more," specifically in the financial aspect. However, she was also able to view her life and see what SHE had that others didn't. This brought me hope, knowing I wasn't the only one who struggled with such feelings and emotions.
Even if you look at the life of someone else and want something they have..what do you have that they don't?
The best option, of course, is to view your life and be thankful for what you do have. Recently, I have been faced with a situation where I am jealous of others: the direction of their life, how comfortable they appear in their world and how everything just seems to 'fall into place' for them.
While on the million-mile drive across the country with Jesse and his parents, the mother-in-law and I got to talking about this topic. She shared how throughout her marriage, she always felt other people had "more," specifically in the financial aspect. However, she was also able to view her life and see what SHE had that others didn't. This brought me hope, knowing I wasn't the only one who struggled with such feelings and emotions.
Even if you look at the life of someone else and want something they have..what do you have that they don't?
05 October 2009
where the sidewalk ends..
Life is funny.
What are you supposed to do when you don't know what to do? When all that you thought you knew is challenged? When the people who you always assumed would be by your side are nowhere to be found? When life hits you again and again and you feel like giving up?
I wish I had answers. While I'm wishing, I also wish it was easy to continually sacrifice things I think that I want to make the most important person in my life happier and at ease. Sacrificing my old personal goals to come up with new goals that fit better isn't easy either.
What are you to do when you know the end goals but see the timing and road to the goals differently?
Just wondering..
"Yes we'll walk with a walk that is measured and slow,
And we'll go where the chalk-white arrows go,
For the children, they mark, and the children, they know
The place where the sidewalk ends."
--Shel Silverstein
What are you supposed to do when you don't know what to do? When all that you thought you knew is challenged? When the people who you always assumed would be by your side are nowhere to be found? When life hits you again and again and you feel like giving up?
I wish I had answers. While I'm wishing, I also wish it was easy to continually sacrifice things I think that I want to make the most important person in my life happier and at ease. Sacrificing my old personal goals to come up with new goals that fit better isn't easy either.
What are you to do when you know the end goals but see the timing and road to the goals differently?
Just wondering..
"Yes we'll walk with a walk that is measured and slow,
And we'll go where the chalk-white arrows go,
For the children, they mark, and the children, they know
The place where the sidewalk ends."
--Shel Silverstein
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)