07 January 2010

growing up is lame.

I mean really. It is. Remember when you were a kid and the biggest decision you had to make was whether you wanted pb & j or mac 'n' cheese (hypothetically because I didn't like mac 'n' cheese growing up). Or maybe even something a little tougher: do I want to play "Sorry" or "Guess Who?" Now what kind of big decisions do you have to make? Chances are, if you're in college, have graduated from college or are above the age of 18 at all you have made some sort of life-altering decision, whether you realize it or not. Which college do I want to go to, what do I want to do with the rest of my life, etc. And unfortunately, the decisions and life experiences just keep getting hammered down your throat. Let's be honest, when I was thrown out into the "real world" I didn't have a clue what to do or how to handle myself. Jesse had to basically hold my hand and show me how to surrive until one day he said "it's ok, just ask questions, you'll figure it out" and sent me to talk to the insurance people all by myself. Yikes. And today, I ordered us some new checks. Small and irrelevant to big life plans? Yes. But I did it, all by myself. And as Jesse would half teasing/half seriously say, "aw you're such a big girl, Amber. I'm so proud you put on the big girl pants today." Such a sweet guy..
I guess the reason I'm thinking about this is because I feel at a sort of cross-roads in my life. I know, I'm only 22, it's definitely no mid-life crisis. But it's true, that's where I feel I am. I graduated from college in September and then began packing my life in boxes to move. Finding a career wasn't high on the list of things to do at the time: taking care of a husband, dog and unpacking took priority. Now the house is unpacked, the dog is asleep, and I have nothing to do but blog and drink coffee. Ok, I do other things too, but the point is, where do I go from here?
The cross-roads I'm talking about have to do with big life decisions that I can't make alone. That's part of the joy of being married, you get to make the big decisions in life with a buddy. From here, do I pursue some sort of career? The logical answer? Yes. The benefits are all over the place in bright neon signs: all the $$ I make can right on the down payment for a house or to pay off student loans. But is that really what I want to do?
Having responsibilities and adult-things to worry about and take care of will get easier, or so I hear. I guess I'll have to wait and see...fortunately for me I have a great guy by my side, a fabulous family and friend support system and a God who cares and listens to me when I rant and rave about "my" life plans..you know. The ones He already has figured out for me and will show me in His time. For the record, and possibly a later post, I do believe that He is teaching my patience...hoo.ray.

1 comment:

  1. UGH! I agree. Growing up IS a pain in the boo-tay. People coming in and out of our lives, changes of scenery, and complicated life decisions....UGH! Luckily you have Husband who is awesome and has set the bar high for any guy I date anytime soon.....:)