8 months and 16 days into Arizona. The reason I mention this is because of the peace that I am finding.
Peace is something it seems that I have been seeking for the past several months with little or no luck. I have prayed and struggled and it's been hard. But recently, things have taken a turn.
I have spent many hours in prayer since moving out here, begging and pleading with God to show me why I have had to go through this and what I'm supposed to be learning. I feel like some days it was just me saying words, "God, give me peace." Then the turning point came. While I did not feel I was a scratching at the bottom of the barrel, I feel like I was not too far from it. I was sad, I was homesick and getting tired of it. I cried out to God one day during my quiet time and He answered. Not in anything I heard, but through my repeated prayer of "God take this pain from me, give me peace," I felt it. Peace...so calming.
John 14:27 (NLT)-- "I am leaving you with a gift- peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don't be troubled or afraid."
Seriously, right there in front of me. The whole time. I love it when I miss the obvious...it happens a lot.
"Bring the Rain" is a song by MercyMe that talks about walking through trials and struggles.
Maybe since my life was changed Long before these rainy days It's never really ever crossed my mind To turn my back on you, oh Lord My only shelter from the storm But instead I draw closer through these times So I pray Bring me joy, bring me peace Bring the chance to be free Bring me anything that brings You glory And I know there'll be days When this life brings me pain But if that's what it takes to praise You Jesus, bring the rain
The song also has a part that says something to the effect of, no matter what comes, I am yours and I'll trust in You.
Something I think I am learning about peace is that I didn't receive it and I don't always have it. It is something I have to strive daily to obtain and continually seek God and ask for from Him about. Many days are harder then others and I feel lost. Those are the days that Jesse has to tell me it's all going to be alright and reassure me. Sometimes, what you're looking the hardest for is right in front of you and you just have to ask for it. Ask for peace.