I'm sure by now, everyone who possibly reads this blog has heard about the health care bill being passed. I am certainly not going to get into my thoughts and feelings on this, except to state my stance: hate it and so frustrated that it passed through the government.

This is not a political blog, and I certainly don't know enough about politics to go into details, nor do I want to. The only reason I bring this up is because of a conversation Jesse and I had this morning.

We were discussing how frustrated we were that it passed and out of the blue he changed the topic and said "wow, I'm at peace." ...? He was reading a thread posted on a forum he follows online and at the bottom with the signature, the poster had the Bible verse Psalm 37:8a, which states: "Do not fret because of evil men.."

Wow. Not saying anyone is evil, that's just the translation, but what an appropriate time to stumble on that verse. Jesse is a worrier by nature, so for him to find this verse at that time floored him.

Things of this world don't matter. Evil/sin is going to happen; it is our job to hate the sin, love the sinner, and pray for those who do bad. We don't have to like what's going on, but it will pass along with everything else. When we become concerned with things of this world, we need to "not fret" and look towards Heaven and the end goal..where we win for all of eternity.

dreams

Are you a dreamer? Not dreamer in the sense of the word like dreaming about the future and thinking up wonderful adventures for your life. Dreaming as in when you sleep. Obviously, science is now claiming that everyone dreams every night, and fine, whatever, that's fine and dandy, but I rarely remember said dreams.

On the occasions that I remember my dreams when I wake up, people I know have always been present, and they aren't really dreams where we go and are running away from zombies or anything. When I was minoring in psychology, I spent some time studying Freud. For the most part, I think he's full of nonsense..but there probably is some truth in the things he says. Freud was a big believer in the meaning of dreams: every dream had a meaning. So on the morning that I wake up remembering a dream, I always wonder what Freud would have said about it, normally making me laugh. However, I have had some pretty disturbing dreams..not horror quality, but more dreams about people I care about or have cared about in the past. Having one last night, I woke up pretty uneasy..what am I supposed to do with that?

The end result when I remember my dreams is that I pray for the people in them. Even if my friends look different then real life, in my dreams I know that is who they are, and there is a reason that they were in my unconsciousness. Even if I don't know what's going on in their lives..

This post really doesn't have a conclusion..I just had an unsettling dream last night and needed to write some thoughts about it.

sunshine.

It amazes me how the weather can affect your mood. Minoring in psychology helped teach me some of the hows and whys, but it still continues to amaze me. Individuals who suffer from seasonal depression can tell you that during the long, cloudy and cold winters, sitting in well-lit rooms, going to a tanning bed or just sitting in front of a heat lamp will help boost their mood. Even for those who do not suffer from this depression, it's a general rule of thumb that people are more dreary and/or down if it's overcast and rainy and more upbeat and positive if the sun is shining. Yes, exceptions to every rule, there are people who love the rain and clouds and are like moles who detest the sun. But I said general, not always so I'm safe ;)

Why do such things help dictate our moods? Yesterday, the sun was shining for what seemed the first time in eons in WV. I woke up in a great mood and was sure that it would just be a great day. As the day went on, I got frustrated with one thing or another, one of which was the dog, and finally before I knew it, I was grumpy and in a horrible mood. But the sun was shining!! What's going on?

I detest being in bad moods. Especially when I am just being grumpy for no reason. Really, it seems to be a complete waste of time and incredibly selfish, both of which I detest. When I went to pick up Jesse from work, he got in the car and I gave him my warning: I'm in a bad mood. Sorry. After feeling out the situation and the severity of my bad mood, he decided to throw caution to the wind and announce that I should get over it because I was with him now. It worked, as cheesy as it sounds.

Today? The sun was shining again. I made the official decision to get over myself and move on and have a fabulous day, which I am so far. Zeke and I went for a nice walk in the sunshine and it was marvelous, even if it was a bit chilly still.

What is dictating making your day great or not?

faith, trust and pixie dust.

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1

I've been thinking about faith all day. It randomly came to me in the left over portions of a dream this morning, which was kind of weird but I rolled with it. I have no idea what this dream was about at all, but I woke up out of it to go to the bathroom and as I stumbled towards the correct room I heard my friend saying "all it takes is faith..just as much as a mustard seed." At 5:30am this floored me. So profound! My thought was something equally profound of "well yah! Of course!" followed by "what is faith?" which wasn't something I wanted to really be thinking about so early when I still had another hour at least of sleep.

The Faith chapter of Hebrews is one of my favorites: I just love it. You can go through that chapter and single out individual Biblical heroes and see how awesome they are because they trusted God, completely and wholly.
By Faith..Noah built an ark.
By Faith..Abraham left everything AND procreated well past his prime.
By Faith..Abraham offered his only son

How would my name fit in there? "By Faith, Amber.." I feel that through some specific moments in my life, I have taken the step of faith and followed God even though I had no idea what was going on. But these are not daily moments. I play it safe most times, as I'm sure most people do. What if everyone just started trusting God more? Putting 100% of their faith in Him? It doesn't take much..just the faith the size of a mustard seed.

That's really not much..But according to the Bible, that's all it takes.

Faith is hard. Not just the general and lazy "oh sure, I trust God to take care of me" but the real stuff..the faith it takes to step out on a limb and do something that seems ridiculous. Noah built a boat..when he lived in a desert. They didn't know what a flood was, but God said "do it" and Noah did. Am I that willing?

snow..and lots of it.

I am almost 100% sure that the part of WV we live in has gotten at least 30 feet of snow this winter. Ok, fine, probably not that much but we really have gotten a lot, though I know other areas like PA and farther north have gotten record winters with snow accumulation. With all the snow that I've had the opportunity to look at this winter, I started thinking how much something so minor and little can change the landscape and roads.

During the fall, I looked out over the hills and mountains and just saw bare trees covering a hillside. You could actually see the hillside for once, and see the terrain. Now, after a bazillion inches of snow, it's beautiful. The trees are covered in the white snow, the ground is covered..and sometimes most importantly, the roads change and become icy and dangerous to travel at times! But all this change by simple snow..Frozen water (basically).

What simple things have you done in your life that have led you to where you are now? What minor changes and perhaps, at the time, seemingly insignificant decisions did you make that have affected (effected? Can't keep these two straight..) where you are now? One of the biggest examples I can think of is my senior year of high school when I was trying to decide my next step. I was just about determined that I was going to go into the military. Turns out, I'm medically ineligible with an inherited thyroid problem. But everything happens for a reason, and this is one of those instances I firmly believe this. What would have happened if I HAD gone into the military? I wouldn't have gone to Mount Vernon and played soccer..where I met some of my best friends AND my husband. I wouldn't have gotten married, probably at all, and definitely wouldn't be expecting a baby in September. All because of one small decision, albeit forced in this case. But still..

I don't think that God is necessarily concerned with what you eat for lunch everyday, but I do believe that He is concerned with you and your life. My decision to go into the military was backed with lots of prayer by lots of people and God shut that door, simultaneously opening another for me which led me to where I am. All the major steps along the way have been prayed over (some more then others) and here I am now. I believe in the power of prayer..and I believe big decisions should be prayed over. Big life events happen with little changes, possibly what seem as insignificant as a half inch of snow. But even with such a small amount of snow, the roads can be covered and icy. Small changes can have a bigger impact then you think..keep in prayer.

discipline.

If you turn on the tv, 9 times outta 10 you're going to see some "lose weight fast" plan that works wonders-- the actors they hired say so themselves! But do these supplements and pills really work and do the job of what eating right and exercising will do? Can a pill really replace good, old fashioned diet and exercise? They now have tv shows like The Biggest Loser which help people lose weight. Great! I'm all for that. But what happens after the show? I saw an interview of one guy who won. We saw the "before" and "after" the show pictures and he had really done it! He looked great. However, what happened 6 months later? He had put a good chunk of weight back on. Why is that? During the show, he was disciplined. After? He slacked off, skipping the daily exercising routines he had developed and the healthy eating.
Losing weight is just one example of one's life where disicpline is needed. No one can just wake up in the morning and say "I'm going to lose 50 lbs today" and actually do it. What is needed is a plan and discipline to follow through. Another example, me trying to train for this stupid half-marathon. I can't just wake up on race day and say "I'll right, let's go run 13.1 miles!" No, I have to train for it. I have to put in the time, energy and discipline run. There are days Jesse has told me to get up and go, he wasn't letting me skip. Everyone needs a cheerleader/coach when trying to do something that will require time and effort.
What if we put as much disicpline into our spritiual life? What if we worked as hard and stayed on task as diligently? I know many people who do, but I- along with many, many others- are not disciplined in this area. And why not? Same reason as every other person who has never succeeded in a diet or in a multitude of other areas. Those reasons obviously vary from person to person, but the bottom line is the same: other things get in the way. I'm as guilty as the next person..But why? It's a challenge to try and figure out what is more important that is keeping me from doing something I know I should..

and away we go

Since WV is apparently going to be getting a wonderful snow storm this weekend, I didn't want to chance not getting in my long run in this week so instead of waiting until Sunday I ran the 5 miles tonight.
Something I should explain about the way that I run: I have all sorts of mental walls I have to get past in order to run long distances. I get very bored when I'm running and have to constantly talk myself into running and not stopping. For example, tonight I needed to run the 5 miles but really just felt like running 4.5, figuring if I walked the last half mile that'd be good enough. Not the case, I was able to push through but it was not easy. I realize it's only a half mile, but still.
Also, something to note, the Y is positioned on a hill with the treadmills and bicycles having this wonderfully large bay window to look out of. Down the hill is the interstate and another mountain on the other side. Since running on a treadmill is so boring for me, I listen to my iPod and look out the window and daydream, think or watch the cars drive by. Today, for the first 2 miles, I decided to count the number of red cars that drove by, but I lost interest after 200. So then my mind began to wander about how difficult it is for me to run sometimes which led me to one of my favourite Bible verses, Hebrews 12:1
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us."
Running is a struggle for me sometimes. But so is living with and/or in sin. While sin is easier to deal with upfront (and sometimes more enjoyable) it makes life a lot harder in the long run. In Hebrews, Paul (I think?) is saying that we have a support team, and with that support team we can strip off the extra weight that is holding us down and run free with nothing holding us back, no struggles or sin, just run. Your brothers and sisters, friends and fmaily are your support team. Lean on them and let them help you. Share your struggles and burdens with them and then let go and take off.
Another funny thing about all this..with the Y being situated on top of a steep hill I often wonder what it would feel like to take a running start and leap off away from the top and then just fall. Free falls kind of scare me, but maybe it's something that would be fun. And sorry if this was rambling, I'm very tired from my run :)